PA101470

zichrona livracha/may her memory be a blessing…I’ve heard it, I’ve said it. Prior to August 8th, 2009 it had very little meaning. Now it’s a lifeline. Memories are like little pieces of the people we created them with. The starlight that shines after the star has burned away.

This is my tribute to my mom. It would make me so happy to have you add to it.

  • When Mom was still well, she was my one and only newscaster. She was the one that I trusted. Usually, when there was something big in the news I’d ignore it for a while, until it became apparent that I really should be paying attention. Then I’d go by Mom and Dad’s house and we’d sit at the white table in the kitchen for as long as it took Mom to explain all of the myriad details and intricacies of Watergate, or wars in foreign lands, or the latest vote I would soon have to cast. She was brilliant and extremely well read when I didn’t have the time, or maybe it was the inclination, to be.
  • Mom was glamorous. I laugh at my children who manage to see all of my faults at first glance. I remember thinking that my mom was absolutely perfect and the most beautiful woman in the world. I wonder if I told her that enough? Probably not.
  • Dad called Mom “Dear Abby”. I’d often come home from school to Mom talking on the phone, counseling one friend or another in matters of the heart or mind. I marvelled at her ability to talk on the phone for hours at a time. I still marvel at that.
  • Mom was the neighborhood Mom. All of the kids hung at my house. And she was bossy too! Everyone knew that when Mom came home from the grocery store, we were to go out to the car, get the groceries, and put them away. Every kid in my neighborhood knew where we kept the peanut butter. Amazing.

I love you Mom

~Les

from dad

How did you meet Pauline? I knew a lot of Pauline’s family because they used to come to our boarding house/hotel in upstate New York during the hot NYC summer months. Thinking about it, I probably met my future mother-in-law before I even knew my wife. Years later when working for GE, I was transferred to Sunnyvale, CA and Pauline’s cousin, Paul, told me to look up his cousin Pauline in Palo Alto, CA. “She’s always good for a meal.” Well, finding that Palo Alto and Sunnyvale were separated by just a few miles, I decided to call about that meal. With arrangements made, I arrived at her home to be greeted by Noble, the dog who looked meaner than he really was, a very cordial Pauline, two well behaved children ages 6 and 4, ……….and Elsa, Pauline’s friend, who she had invited for moral support. “My NY family sent me another one……you’re going to California, look up my cousin/sister/??…..Els, you’re coming for dinner…..I’m not going through this again by myself.” Dinner, I later found out, was spaghetti with sauce that had been saved in the freezer……very good, but I had been sent by Cousin Paul for gosh sakes! I have often stated that it turned out to be the most expensive spaghetti dinner I ever ate.

It was Les and Carol Lee that first got me, I think. Actually in retrospect, it was the way Pauline dealt with them. “The Girls”……Les, the pensive, studying, careful one….Carol Lee, the pixie-ish, devil-may-care, daring one……Pauline regarded them as “little people” explaining in terms they could understand, yet firm in their discipline. I was soon “Uncle Stan” to the girls and “handyman around the house” to Pauline. I fell right in….it was comfortable. Sometimes, we went out as a “family” and it amazed me how the girls could handle the “restaurant scene” as perfect little ladies.

Pauline and I started dating…..dinners, movies and such. Going to the Greek restaurant, drinking ouzo, watching the owner pick up a table with his teeth and dance around to the music. Back then, I was a member of the Playboy Club (there was one in San Francisco then) and I wanted to take my out-of-town friend Owen (my future best man) and his wife JoAnn to see it…I invited Pauline to go along. That evening, Pauline and I realized that we were in love. That was July 5, 1966 (7/5/66). Note that adding 7 + 5 + 6 + 6 you get 24. From that time forward, every race car I drove was numbered “24”…..it was our “love number”.

Retaining the Laskin trait of “don’t change things fast”, it took me almost two years to ask Pauline to marry me. During that time my family tried and tried to discourage our togetherness. “Just look at the age difference……Are you nuts?…….A ready-made family?……..What are you thinking?” What I was thinking is that I have found THE ONE(S)!! And they all truly realized it when they got to meet my Pauline and my “The Girls”.

The inscription that Pauline had inscribed in my wedding band reads, “And they lived happily ever after.” In her band, I had inscribed “Pauline & Stan-April 26, 1968”….real original, huh? Pauline’s comment was, “Do you think I’d ever forget?” Yes, Pauline, due to Alzheimer’s disease, you eventually did forget that……and many more things also. Maybe not forgot, but unable to retrieve the memories. However, our love lasted well into your illness……I could tell because, for a long time, you held out your arms to me as I walked down the Greenhills hallway to your table, and of course, the kisses you still gave me. There will always be a place in my heart for you. I miss you so much.

Your everlovin’

Me…(Stan)

27 replies
  1. wm-phedoro j.woods says:

    She was a rose who opened up her heart.
    She gave us beauty
    Through her wonderous soft eyes
    comforting smile and open arms,
    we came to know the sublime joy of her
    love.

    Only after writng this, did i remember how much i loved her.

  2. Nicole says:

    Wow, I didn’t realize until I sat down to write this how many memories I have of Aunt Pauline, or how hard it would be to choose.

    When I was little I loved Aunt Pauline’s visits! She always stayed with my grandmother, right down the hall, for the majority of the time that she was in NY, so we saw her every day. Her visits meant family get togethers, great food, lots of laughter, and my mom being called “Pauline” for a month after she left (oh, and that creepy white fish in the middle of the table that still had eyes! Yick!). Those times were the best because we got to see tons of family that we probably hadn’t seen since her last visit. They all told the best stories and brought the best desserts! Oh, and Aunt Pauline never left without her NY bagels!

    When I was older and we had moved to Mahopac with my grandmother, Aunt Pauline would only stay with us for a few days of her trip, and then travel around to see the rest of the family. Those visits were great as well, but they were definitely less festive since everyone was getting older and Grandma was sick.

    The last time that Aunt Pauline visited before Grandma passed away we went to visit her at the nursing home and it was amazing. My grandmother’s Alzheimer’s was pretty advanced by then and she really wasn’t showing any sort of emotion or recognition at that point. Well, Aunt Pauline came in and talked about all of their childhood adventures, their parents, and their other siblings, and friends, and she made her smile. She smiled a smile that we hadn’t seen in so long it made us cry, and she even made a few small comments. We all left crying, but happy at the same time. It was really an amazing thing to watch and be a part of.

    Aunt Pauline’s last visit was bittersweet. I was so happy to get to see her again, yet we all knew that it would probably be the last time that she would make it to NY. She was already getting sick at that point, and was a little less well spoken than we all remembered her being, and slightly frustrated with herself, but that sparkle was still there, and we all knew that the same woman was still inside. She still brought us all together as a family and made us all feel very loved.

    I will miss her, I miss her already, but I know that she’s still there, inside of all of us.

  3. Em says:

    grandma taught me so many things that i would never have the opportunity to experience if not for her and her illness.
    i don’t remember her well before she got sick. i do know her inspiring story and the stories people tell me. once in england, we were watching home made videos that my dad had sent my grandma of when i was little. we came across my first(?) birthday party at gymboree. grandma was cuddling me and organizing, and i loved to see who she was when she wasn’t sick. i was engrossed with that silly video. i couldn’t keep my eyes off of her, because somehow i had to experience her through that screen.
    another thing i’ve learned from her is that love is, in a way, a deal. i loved her so much because of those moments when she would look at me, and know exactly what she was talking about when she told me that she loved me. i knew that the person i had known so much about was still in there somewhere, and those were the bits that i got to experience.
    grandma loved music. maybe thats where i get it from. i like to think that i will be like her someday. anyway, when she used to hear music at greenhills, she would stand up and shuffle her feet and sing her “doo doo doo” song that me and steve like to mimic even today. i would get up with her and dance and be with her loving the music together.
    i think mom is like grandma. and i KNOW im like mom. im mourning grandmas illness. mourning that i missed out. thats the hardest part.

  4. Russ and C o. says:

    Aunt Polly! , geez, right out of Tom Sawyer…..I can hear it still. Although Pollyana had an Aunt Polly in the movie, as a boy, Tom was more akin to my situation. My earliest memories go back to Woodside, by San Francisco, a young boys magic land of amazing new things. Aunt Polly seemed a ‘regular’ family member, concerned with our big family members well being as a mom would; I’ve been extremely fortunate to have many ‘mothers’; the noblest
    best breed of humans I know. Over the years, as I grew, I saw in Aunt Polly, a real supporter, encouragement I got from her, when mostly I seemed to get competition. I remember the first time when in Fullerton, “I” got to go with her to give directions to the store in the ‘car’. As a young kid, a great responsibility. I was very careful to get my lefts and rights correct. Vacations at the beach, like a month, (my kind of vaca) would seem right out of a book, with long days at the beach and canasta, etc. at nite; a lot of fun. Even when I got married, her experiemce and help, help made our honeymoon so memorable. I have missed her these last few years, as I or her have been unable to gather; but not in my heart, and I am comforted and believe we will gather again……Love you guys, Russ and Co.

  5. Maurine Bennett says:

    Pauline always looked for the good in folks. She could be quite frank when she disapproved of the way someone behaved but she always forgave and gave of herself. She had a great sense of humor and I will never forget when she was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She said it’s ok when I forget because I won’t really know I forgot. Making a joke of what to me was the loss of a great person to know. She worked so hard and so well with the breast cancer group, she counseled and helped women who were trying to cope with such a huge change in their minds and especially in their bodies. I so enjoyed working with her at Race Central, our dinners after the racing day with she and Stan, Dave, Claire and Bill and whoever else we may have picked up along the way. Dinner was often a meal of an Omelet and Zebra, or so she called it. So many memories. My thoughts and love to all who are her family and friends.

  6. vonnie and family:) says:

    I am grateful to have had pauline and stan in my adult education class for the past several years. they were quite a team. my students, like pauline, continue to inspire me to be the best that I can be. I participate in the memory walk for alzheimer’s every year and this year I will walk for pauline and all like her who suffer from alzheimer’s disease. thank you for giving me this opportunity to express my gratitude to all of you who loved pauline so much and carry her dreams in your heart. I fervently pray that we will all see an end and cure to this debilitating disease.

  7. Ray M. Wahba says:

    Dear Stan & Leslie

    Pauline was truly a great friend, I have known her since she was a “Baxter”. I have dealt with her over the years and I considered her to be
    a sister of mine. Pauline was a caring person,
    eager to help friends and even strangers whenever and wherever she interfaced with
    people. She was truly a great loss to many many
    people. May she rest in peace after she has suffered for many years. She will be remembered for many years by all of us.

    Stan, I know you suffered a great loss and I know how you feel, I have been there some 18 years ago, time is a great healer, please feel free
    to spend some time with us in Half Moon Bay,
    talking about Pauline is good, don’t keep it to yourself.

    Nancy and I will be there at the Synagogue on Sunday. May God comfort you and give you the courage to deal with your loss.

    Take care of yourselves.

    Love

    Nancy & Ray Wahba

  8. Mary Lou Robson says:

    Oh, the memories of Pauline. Remember when Don Seike gave her a broom and labeled it “Pauline’s Car”? Remember when she’d offer Ted Jackson watermelon or threaten to send him to the “back of the bus”? (Ted was black.) We used to kid Stan about being so quiet and she’d remind us that he couldn’t get a word in edgewise. She was SO proud of her family and always had pictures and stories to share. Pauline was a very special lady who will be missed by so many. My love and prayers are with her family every day.
    God speed my friend.

  9. ROGER & LORY says:

    WRITING THESE AND THINKING OF MANY OTHER SITUATIONS IN OUR LONG FRIENDSHIP TRULY POINTS OUT WHAT A VERY SPECIAL LADY SHE WAS!!!!!

    1.Stan’s affectionate teasing about her unique pronunciation of certain american english words like…New Yaak…sistah…huhh(her)…trailah…
    Claiyah…Roguhh

    2.When a persons of New York origins were immediatly referred by the ladies at Race Central Central to Pauline as their offical interperator

    3.When Pauline was often asked about the meaning of certain Yiddish expressions: she would reply that she dididn’t know…”go ask Roger

  10. Ramona says:

    I’m a big Pauline fan. There was a lot of New York in her. She felt like family. And she loved to dance. The night of the full moon block party Pauline and I hung out listening to the old swing tunes Leslie had chosen for the evening. We’d do a little jitterbug between martinis. I knew all the lyrics. Pauline had all the moves.

  11. Lillian Reese Pleski says:

    Remembering Pauline Laskin is easy as she was so easy to know. I’m sorry she is gone from those she loved and who loved her so much. She will be missed. Her memory is a blessing! Now that she is in God’s embrace, I believe that she is made whole again. God Bless and comfort her loving family.

  12. Dick Raymond says:

    Pauline was a wonderful lady. She was always willing to help those in need and also had stories to tell, like the time I spun on the pace lap at Laguna Seca 100 years ago! Whenever she could gather three or more people, the story got crazier and crazier with each telling. We will always remember her as a great person.

  13. Bob Laskin says:

    From the moment that I first met Pauline, until that last luncheon we had in Palo Alto, she was bright, outgoing
    and “up front”. She was intelligent and articulate, with
    a broad area of interests.

    And at that last meeting she said, in her usual matter-of-fact way, “I have Alzheimer’s, I forget some things.” …

  14. Susan Hoffmeister says:

    I remember the great conversations we would have in the Sunnyvale pharmacy. We solved the world’s big and little problems weekly.
    Those are fond memories I will hold dear.

  15. Jody Laskin Rosenberg says:

    I didn’t visit California often but it makes the times I did much more special. I have happy memories of staying with Aunt Pauline and Uncle Stan when my parents shipped my sister and I off to California so they could move peacefully from New York to Florida. Aunt Pauline made sure our stay was comfortable and fun.
    My next visit didn’t come till years later when I came to visit with my children. I got to go back to the Cupertino house and we all had such a wonderful time.
    Aunt Pauline had such a zest for life and such a young spirit. She made sure to always include us
    in her east coast visits. Uncle Stan I am sorry for your loss and despite the years between our visits you are always in our hearts.

  16. Linda Rogaski says:

    Pauline was one special lady. She cared deeply for her family both biological and SCCA adopted. When the grandchildren started arriving she was on cloud 9 and I don’t think she ever came down. They were her joy right behind Stan, Les and Carolee.

    I remember having some of the best belly laughs with Pauline – she was a great one for telling a joke and laughing at jokes that really weren’t that funny. I remember trying to tell her how to say orange not “arnge”…..she never quite got it.

    We will miss her caring, love, sense of humor and her Paulinisms, she was one special lady.

    At her 80th birthday party she was telling Jim and I that she had alzheimers, about that time she saw someone walking up the driveway – she looked at me and said “I can’t remember, do I like them?”

  17. Ed and Shirley Gaines says:

    The first time I met Pauline, at Race Central, I was in awe. Here was this beautiful woman who looked like a movie star — one of the “real” Hollywood glamour girls — Hedy Lamarr, Merle Oberon, Vivienne Leigh.

    And, she was so funny! Always making people laugh. One time at a race, rain started coming down hard. I made some comment about “The Rain”. Pauline said: “It’s not raining, it’s participating!”

    She was so proud of her family. They really were her joy.

    I will always remember her beautiful green eyes
    and her smile.

    Thank you, G-d, for blessing her with the gift of life, and, for blessing us all, touched by it.

    She was a very special lady who could have a biting wit one minute and be a warm friend the next. We will all miss her

  18. Cousin Steffie says:

    Uncle Stan and Leslie,

    Some of the earliest memories I have of Aunt Pauline were when we would take Grandma Mabel to the PAN AM terminal at NY Laguardia airport for her visit to see her sister Aunt Pauline. I had seen pictures of this amazingly beautiful woman and thought about the “movie star” sister Grandma Mabel was with.

    My Mom also has very fond memories of Aunt Pauline. When Mom was young, Aunt Pauline lived with her family for a little while and Mom thought she was so beautiful and would follow her around everywhere!

    Aunt Pauline was at Grandma Mabel’s house when Grandma went into labor with Mom (Aunt Dorothy). She was at the hospital when she was born.

    When Mom was a teenager she would visit her in Levittown often. She loved to be around her.

    Over the years, I remember Aunt Pauline’s visits to family in New York. My family would travel to see her wherever she was staying or Aunt Pauline would come and see us on Long Island. When we would visit, it was apparent how much she loved her girls, and how proud she was of them. She always came armed with lots and lots of pictures of you girls! Margot and I thought you girls just had to be perfect! Her stories about Uncle Stan’s race-car days were definitely a highlight as well!

    Aunt Pauline came to Texas to visit my family and my boys still remember. Aunt Pauline definitely left an impression on the people she met! She always had stories to tell and they were always fun to listen to! She remembered everything in great detail and her stories were captivating.

    Leslie, on one of your visits to Texas I remember you telling me stories about your mom. It was evident that she was a wonderful mother and that the two of you were very close.

    May God wrap his arms in comfort around you and your family right now. Aunt Pauline might not be here on earth with us right now but her spirit is and she is forever in our hearts and always in our minds.

    Love and Peace to you all.

    Steffie

  19. Allene Galantino says:

    I think of Pauline every day and your Dad. They’re always lounging by my pond and I see them daily in the form of frogs, “Pauling & Stan” as we call them. I guess I should explain…I had the privilege of meeting you Mom and Dad when I took them out to find them a new home in our beautiful town of Napa, and we did! Pauline had a great wit about her and she made me laugh on more they one occasion. The last time we spoke was in Safeway she was doing some shopping with your Dad. She has been and will remain in my prayers. Thank you Pauline for being a friend…..
    I guess I should explain the frogs were a gift from your Mom & Dad.

  20. Lee Laskin says:

    As an extended family member, i first remember meeting the cupertino Laskin’s when i was in my early teens. We were always invited to the Cupertino Laskin’s open house around the holidays.
    I remember this so distinctly … being welcomed into the home and the welcoming was always Pauline.
    Reading the note from Leslie about their house being the one that the neighborhood kids came to after school, brought the same feeling. When i would go over to the home, i remember that “Mom”. Being welcomed as if you were special and important, enough caring to let you feel you belonged and comfortable but … no too much to intrude into the somewhat awkward world of teen from the extended family

  21. Sandy & Dave Smith says:

    Les & Family and of course Stan

    We’ve been around the “white table” for many years.
    Met “The Laskins” when Dave sold then a pool in Cupertino. When Dave walked into the living room there was the baby grand piano without keys. Dave said maybe you shouldn’t be buying a pool if you can’t afford piano keys. Then turned to leave. Pauline just stood there with her mouth open. Dave said that was the only time he saw Pauline speechless. Stan jumped in with “the keys are being refinished”. They did put in the pool and did have piano keys too. That was Daves first meeting with Pauline & Stan. I met them a short time later.
    I remember when Pauline & I were looking at something and she said “I’d give a NOMINAL EGG” for that. I asked her did she mean an “ARM & A LEG” She laughed and said “No wonder Nominal Egg never made sense. Arm & a Leg, I’ve been saying that wrong for years.
    I also remember going shopping for her white pants for the track.
    And there was the raincoat she bought on sale. I know she wore it to our house a couple times with the price tag hanging on it. It was such a good buy, $3.97, she said we should all know.
    There were many more great memories .
    We are sorry to lose Pauline, we will miss her. Loved her much.

  22. Dianne Cohn says:

    PAULINE

    My first memories of Pauline begin in the ‘60’s. I was a college student , living with a family and taking care of their three children. Pauline was a friend of the their family and a new widow with two young children, Leslie and Carolee. Their combined children were together often…and that is where my memories begin. Being in charge of five children really gave me a run for my money! Let’s just say it was never dull. It was Leslie who took a serious study of everything and it was Carolee who had exuberance for activity. It always puzzled me how later in life those personalitay traits switched bodies.
    Then came the introduction of a wonderful man, Stan. Pauline and Stan began dating, which helped my college funds grow! I now was seeing a lot of Leslie and Carolee. Soon Pauline and Stan announced their wedding date. I was in on the planning and the facilitating of the wedding as it was celebrated in the home of the family I lived with. It was a memorable day…beautiful in every way! Everyone was happy. Stan was wonderful with the girls…a new truly great family had it’s beginning.
    Remembering back, it was not long until they moved to their new house. Stan, with his dazzling red Corvette race car and all the racing equipment…They quickly converted the spare room to the black, white and red trophy room! (my room on sleep over visits). There was always commotion: the race team, the girls with their friends – in and out, and the newest member of the family- Spark Plug! He stole your heart that little black pup. The girls were still very young and Pauline had her hands full running back and forth to the school for whatever was needed.
    She was a great mother! She was a great wife! That was what I observed always!
    My apartment, with three roommates, put me near to the Laskin clan and near to the girls whenever a flight of fancy took Stan and Pauline somewhere. Meteor Drive became a second home for me, it was a place to come to when my roommates got to be too much to handle. Pauline was now a very good friend and a confidant. I always felt she was my Jewish mother. She was Jewish, and she was from New York, with typical diction. Maybe not a practicing Jew but an exemplary one by her love, kindness and genuine concern for others.
    Convening…gathering together…that’s what Pauline also exceeded at. It was in the kitchen around the white kitchen table. It had its rolling chairs that saw so much action, like a revolving door, people no sooner vacated a chair, when there was another person taking their place. Children doing homework, guests visiting and meals shared with friends. This went on day and night! It was at this forum that the neighbor kids, later groups of kids going out together would meet. This is where I met the boyfriends and later the husbands to be. That table was truly a hub! That was Pauline.
    With the years the Laskins were introduced to my husband. The girls would take care and watch our son Nelson, who later was Carolee’s ring bearer at her marriage to Clay. Our families now shared many years of friendship.
    I can only say that having Pauline in my life was a gift and has enriched it in so many ways…thank you Pauline. I will treasure our memories shared.
    I now share with you, the entire Laskin clan – husband, daughter, son-in-laws, each of her cherished grandchildren, a very special poem that was given to me when my mother passed away and that still gives me comfort today, may it also be a comfot to you.

    With deepest sympathy,
    Dianne (Doug) and family

    MEMORIES

    There are those special memories
    We cherish through the years;
    Most of them are happy ones,
    A few are touched by tears.
    They all become more beautiful,
    The older now they grow.
    And with age they take their place,
    As days of long ago.
    They are the pictures of a past
    For which we sometimes yearn;
    But which we know so well is gone,
    And which cannot return.
    They have no market value in
    Our commerce of today;
    They are not even anything
    That we can give away.
    And yet, those memories can play
    A most important part;
    As they inspire of console,
    Or elsewise help the heart.
    The only worthwhile memories,
    Are those which light your downs;
    With happiness, devotion and
    The courage to go on.
    -Author unknown-

  23. Michael Thomas says:

    She always treated me warmly, like I was one of the family. I always felt at ease around her. I will fondly remember the evenings around the diner table and holidays sitting around the living room. But I think the essence of her uniqueness is perhaps best reflected in the character, integrity, and courage of the amazing daughters she and Stan raised.

  24. Brianna says:

    Hmm…where to start. I have so many happy memories of Aunt Pauline. I used to love when she came to visit NY. She would stay with my grandmother and we would see her everyday. I was always intrigued by the stories that Aunt Pauline would tell. She was a very good family historian. I always had questions to ask her about her parents and grandparents, and about their life growing up. Aunt Pauline always told a great story and seemed to remember every detail. She always talked about when her and grandma would go to the movies every week for, I believe 5 cents each! And how grandma used to get licorice, which Aunt Pauline didn’t like. Then grandma would share Aunt Pauline’s candy with her (because she loved any kind of candy!) and later eat her licorice by herself.

    There was always lots of good food and family around when Aunt Pauline came to visit. We would all sit around the table for brunch. There were bagels, rye bread, some crazy fishes with their bulgy eyes staring straight at you…I’m pretty sure only grandma and Aunt Pauline ate those. I really miss those family get togethers.

    I know that Nicole already spoke about Aunt Pauline’s last visit to NY before grandma died but I just thought that I would comment about it too. I will never forget the reaction that Aunt Pauline was able to get out of grandma that day. It is true, we did all walk out of there crying. She was able to uncover a little glimpse of the grandma that I knew all my life that day. It was amazing.

    I think that I could go on forever if I sit here long enough. So I will end my memory by saying that Aunt Pauline was a wonderful woman who I miss and love very much. She will forever be with all of us in our hearts <3

  25. Leslie says:

    Dad and I wrote this in April of 2007. We can’t remember why. I think maybe Kathy, George’s wife, wanted to put it in her book. Or maybe Kam just wanted some history.

    Pauline Eisenberg Laskin
    by Leslie Laskin, her daughter
    and Stan Laskin, her husband

    Mabel was the oldest, around fifteen years older than Mom. Then came Danny who is ten years older, then Annie, then Artie, then Frances, then finally Pauline, the one I call Mom. Or maybe it was Annie before Danny, I’m not sure. Besides Mom, Danny is the only sibling that is still living and he lives quite well. Still in his own apartment at ninety-five, he plays cards and golf every week.

    Mom was born in June of 1922. The middle of summer in Harlem New York. Her dad, Sam Eisenberg, was a Russian Jewish émigré, although she says that he never liked to admit his birthplace. Her mom, Henrietta Appel, was born in Paducah, Kentucky. They lived in various apartments that up until a few years ago she could recite and describe. My grandfather, who died long before I was born, was a wall paper hanger. He didn’t work a lot, maybe because of the depression, maybe because he had little motivation. But somehow six children and many of their friends and usually the odd dog grew up happily around my grandfather and grandmother. Mom slept three to a bed and always said that they moved every time the rent was due. Their meals were often whatever the free food kitchen could provide. To this day, or at least to the last day that Mom could remember, she wouldn’t eat apple butter. That was the food they regularly got from the nice people who fed the New York poor.

    In the days when Mom was young, Harlem was full of all kinds and colors of poor people. Mostly immigrants, Jews and Blacks I think. But outside of Artie, who married an Italian Catholic woman who suffered ex-communication for marrying a Jew, Mom and all of her siblings married Jews. In those days people mostly married their own and looked down their noses at the “others”. Except for Mom. One of her best friends when she was young was a black girl. Mom and her friend used to trade dresses during the school day, but they always traded back before she walked in the door at home. There was prejudice in my grandparent’s house, and wearing a black girl’s clothes would not have been tolerated. I’m sure they were relieved when, at the age of eighteen, Mom married a middle class Jewish boy. But he wasn’t a nice boy, and that marriage did not survive. I’m sure there was quite a scandal at the time.

    Mom met my biological father, Dick, and they ran away to the west and married. That was about 1954. It was months before anyone found them, a Jew and a Methodist living amongst the Mormons of Salt Lake City. They must have loved each other very much for Mom to do such a thing to the family that she loved. After a year in Utah they moved to California. La Honda, then Menlo Park. Pauline got a job as a bookkeeper at General Electric’s Nuclear Energy Division’s accounting department in San Jose and Dick worked at Link Aviation in Palo Alto. In 1959, a month after my grandmother (Dick’s mother) died, I was born. We moved to Woodside, California for a few years to care for and sell an estate that my grandmother had purchased to turn into a school. Eighteen months after I was born my sister, Carol Lee, was born. When the estate finally sold, we moved to a small Eichler in Palo Alto. Shortly after that, my father died. They only had eight years together. And now Mom was alone in California with a house and two young children. We went home to New York for a few months while Mom got her bearings. I remember those days as snowy and cold. Carol Lee was often sick and stayed home with Mom in the small apartment that we rented. I was in kindergarten and got to take a taxi to school. Mom always told the driver to wait until someone had let me through the big red door into the school. I couldn’t open it myself. My grandmother spent time with us in our apartment. She was very old and had been completely deaf for as long as Mom could remember. Carol Lee and I watched cartoons with Grandma. We turned off the sound because she could not hear.

    After a few months in New Rochelle, New York, we came back to California. Mom tried to work but Carol Lee and I pitched such a fit that she finally gave up and stayed home with us. Social Security supported us for several years. I remember going clothes shopping each year before school started. My sister and I each got one new pair of shoes and a new coat and whatever clothes we absolutely needed. We ate a lot of grape jelly in those days. It was the cheapest kind. And Mom did her best to raise loving tolerant children. And well behaved. She was the strictest parent in the neighborhood and all of the kids loved being with her. She never raised her hand against us, and rarely raised her voice. She was a master at using “tone”. There was no mistaking when we were in trouble.

    Mom knew that we needed men in our lives so we adopted lots of uncles (and the aunts that came with them). Mom had many many friends and they all became part of our lives. Finally, five years after our father died, Mom met and married the man that we first called Uncle Stan, then Daddy. He always says that we were a big part of the reason that he married Mom, but Mom was a pretty great catch on her own. She was beautiful, smart, independent, and very strong. Shortly after they got married we all moved to a new house in Cupertino. Our new dad adopted Carol Lee and me and every year Mom had a little adoption party for us. She was clearly happy that she’d fallen in love again, and especially so because she’d fallen in love with a man who loved her children. We always felt like the center of her world.

    Our house was also the center of the neighborhood. It was partly because Dad had a racecar in the garage. But even more than that it was because of who Mom was. She was the parent in the neighborhood who all of the kids could talk to. She fed anyone who happened to be over at dinnertime. And there was nearly always someone around our table who didn’t live there. She saw each one of us as an individual and made us feel our own import. She loved us all. She taught Carol Lee and me the value of people and expected us to be not only nice but also good: tolerant, embracing, happy to be alive. Dad always called her Dear Abby for all of the advice that people asked of her.

    Stan’s racecar also brought changes to Pauline’s life. Wanting to take an active part and not being much of a mechanic, she joined the Sports Car Club of America’s Race Central Team where racing information is collected and distributed to competitors. Before long, Pauline became Chief of Race Central where she conversed with and aided many stalwarts of the racing world such as Phil Hill and Mario Andretti (the United States’ only two World Champions), Dan Gurney, the Unsers, the Pettys, and also, Paul Newman and others who got their start in the movies.
    The racing connection played a role in Pauline’s other career, that of Travel Agent. Pauline took a job as substitute bookkeeper for a travel agency in Palo Alto as a favor to the mother of Stan’s racecar crew chief. With her racing connections and the urging of the agency, she quickly also became an outside agent. This led to booking trips for racing teams throughout the country and overseas. One of her clients ran the original Honda powered car at the Indianapolis 500. The travel agent career also brought the world to Pauline. She, and oftentimes Stan, would travel to Europe, the Orient, the Mediterranean and Caribbean Seas, Panama Canal, Alaska, and other destinations of interest on familiarization trips.

    When my sister got sick a few years ago, we talked about the changes we’d begun seeing in Mom. She was getting lost more, confused. Carol Lee’s sickness probably sped up the onset of Alzheimer’s in Mom. After Carol Lee died Mom got significantly worse. It felt like it happened overnight. Mom’s diagnosis came the year after Carol Lee’s death. Now, even though Mom has lost most language, Dad and I still have glimpses of her. She looks at me the same way that she always has. Even though she sometimes calls me her mother or her sister, I can see in her eyes that she is looking at the daughter she loves. And she is still very much in love with my Dad. She’s still the inspiration to me that she has always been. She’s my mom.

  26. Lori Laskin Bloom says:

    I remember Aunt Pauline as a happy and fun lady. I remember my first trip to Calif. was in 1975. My sister and I were sent for a couple of weeks. We took a camper to watch Uncle Stan race at Laguna Seca raceway. We did the tour of San Francisco, they took us on the Seventeen mile drive, and drinks at the Del Monte Lodge. I really learned the meaning of a cocktail on this vacation. They had a cocktail every night before dinner. They took us to the Paul Mason winery. I was only 16, but I guess Aunt Pauline was just fine with that. I remember Aunt Pauline made the best salads. She introduced me to sour dough bread. In 1978 , I was welcomed back with my 2 girlfriends, and we stayed in the race car room. Aunt Pauline welcomed my friends like they were family. On any of her trips out east, she made sure to make a visit even if for just a day. She always made family a priority. She was a special lady, and I can see that her legacy has been passed down to Leslie. Love you guys, Lori

  27. Bev Stumman says:

    this is really from Bev

    Dear Leslie, Stan & Family,
    I am sorry it has taken me so very long to write. First if all I am not very good at it and second, everytime I sit down to write I start crying. I honestly do not know what will happen to our family when something happens to either my mom and dad or Russ’s parents. You are a Rock. Pauline was the spark in the family. She really made you think about things and loved to discuss anything with you. I remember when I first came into the “Stumman” family and how she so totally open up her arms to me. She was always Rusty’s favorite and mine too. You probably don’t remember Les, but when you first got married and we all came and stayed at your house (or where ever we stayed!) . I remember like it was yesterday, all of your moms relatives there in the kitchen area @ the table in Cupertino. Your mom was horrified that I did not know how to make spagetti sauce and preceeded to show me how to do it because her “Rusty” should only being eating the good homemade stuff. Right there and then she made it her duty for me to learn. And I did, but it was never as good as hers. I truly loved your mom. She was so WONDERFUL to me. You all have always been wonderful to me. Sporatic thoughts go through my mind all the time about her, and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to know her and be a part of her life and your family. I love you all very much. You have all of our heartfelt sympathy in the loss of such a dear one. Love Bev

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